Japanese Etiquette: Do's and Don'ts at a Japanese Home
- AS
- May 1, 2019
- 3 min read
Have you ever been invited to a house in Japan and felt completely lost? Like, all the sudden you feel so out of place, and wishing you took a little more time to google basic Japanese manners and etiquettes before the visit?
Well, my friend, you're definitely not alone. And I certainly don't blame you either — the culture in Japan is so unique, that what might be considered polite elsewhere may be considered rude in Japan, and vice versa.
In this post, I will be listing out some of the most important manners & etiquettes you should remember before visiting a Japanese home. At the very least, make sure to master the basics because some people take these manners very seriously!
1. Take off your shoes
So, first thing first: you must take off your shoes inside the house, at all times. This is probably the most important tip you should remember.
Big entranceway, or genkan, is very common in Japanese homes for this reason. This is where you greet the host, take your outside shoes off, and proceed into the main area of the home. (Tip: once your shoes are off, make sure you align them nicely, so that the tip of your shoes face the door.)
An example of a "genkan"
Taking off your shoes inside the house is a very important custom in Japan. This is because of their established culture of sitting, eating, and sleeping on tatami mats, which are unique floor mats made of rice straw. It is very important for the homeowners to keep their tatami mats clean.
Also, depending on the household, they might offer you slippers or "indoor shoes" to wear. In this case, wear them always. Every household is different, so be attentive to the family's customs. I also recommend wearing socks or tights for your visit, because bare feet are often unwelcomed.
2. Arrive on time or a little late
(source: https://lmedia.jp/2015/07/05/65589/)
Surprised? (Japanese people are never late!) Since your host might be busy preparing for your arrival, it is best that you arrive on time or even a little late. Give your host enough time to do some last-minute cleaning.
Having said this, never be late to meetings that are scheduled outside of homes. It is better to arrive 10, even 15 minutes earlier to every meeting, because being punctual is considered one of the most important qualities people look for in each other.
3. Bring a little something
It is important that you bring a little souvenir (snacks or finger-food, depending on the situation) to your friend’s house to express gratitude. This is often the case in other cultures as well, but is especially true in Japan. In Japanese, we call them "omiyage" (oh-mi-ya-geh).
Always give omiyage at the beginning of your visit. Avoid packages grouped in 4 and 9, as these numbers signify "bad luck" (4 portrays "death"; 9 as "suffering"). Try not to buy omiyage near the house you are visiting. It's best if you can bring something that is unique, and not attainable near the vicinity of the house you are visiting.
4. Greetings (very important!)
Know how to say basic expressions, like “hello” “thank you” and “I had a great time” in Japanese.
Here is a short list to help you out…
今日（きょう）はお招（まね）きいただきありがとうございます
Kyo-wa oh-ma-neh-ki ii-ta-da-ki a-ri-ga-toh-go-za-ii-ma-soo
= Thank you for inviting me today (very formal expression)
招待（しょうたい）ありがとう！
Sho-tai a-ri-ga-toh!
=Thank you for inviting me! (informal expression)
今日（きょう）は楽（たの）しかったです
Kyo-wa ta-noh-shi-katta-de-soo
=I had a lot of fun today!
では、失礼（しつれい）します
Deh-wa Shi-tsu-reh-ii shi-ma-soo
=Farewell/Goodbye (when you’re about to step out of the house)
(There is no equivalent expression in English)
Lastly...
So, the next time you're invited to a house in Japan, try to be more attentive to these above-mentioned tips. If the hosts are wearing slippers, wear slippers as well. Be on time, or a little late, and make sure to bring a little something for your host to enjoy.
I hope this post helped. Just remember these basic manners and you’re all set!
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